Today, I want to talk a bit about how to build self-confidence. And really, I am going to expound on the number one way we all should do this. 

Last week, I talked about setting life goals and finding clarity in our goals, and I think an important component of setting realistic and attainable goals is to have self-confidence.

The topic of confidence is something I get asked a lot about because of my background in door-to-door sales. To succeed in that type of business comes down to how confident you are in yourself and your ability to sell.

With door-to-door sales, I would also have experiences of people telling me to get off their porch and curse me out, but I would need to be able to not allow that to affect me mentally and emotionally and keep moving forward!

So to me, the number one way- the absolute best way- to build self-confidence is to have an impeccable relationship with yourself!

Think about it…it’s in the word. To have self-confidence you have to start with a great relationship with yourself.

Now, I know that sounds like hocus pocus. Just up in the cloud.

So let me bring it down into the dirt for you. I am going to give you just a few practical ways to have an impeccable relationship with yourself.

Do What You Say You Are Going to Do

Number one, you have to do what you say you are going to do. This is across the board for anything that you say that you are going to do. 

If you pick up a book and say, “I’m going to read this book in the next week and a half” then you better finish that book in a week and a half. 

If you want to wake up at 5:00 AM for the next 30 days, then make sure you do not let anything keep you from doing that. 

Tell yourself that you aren’t going to drink for two weeks? Follow through!

Whatever it is that you say that you are going to do, you need to do that. 

Every time you do not follow through on something you say you are going to do, you begin to trust yourself less.

Nobody knows you better than you so if you want to be confident in yourself, you have to trust yourself.

The best way to do this is to follow through on what you say you are going to do. Prove it to yourself first, and proving it to others will come naturally!

If you allow yourself not to do what you say you are going to do, you trust  yourself less and subconsciously build a negative reputation with yourself.

And we definitely do not  want that to happen! That is the enemy of self-confidence. 

Take Your Word More Seriously

When you actually follow through on what you say you are going to do, an interesting thing happens.

You start to take your word more seriously. Now I know this may sound like the same thing, but it isn’t.

When you can trust yourself to act upon what you say, you realize the weight of your word and become much more intentional with what you say.

Before I started taking my word seriously, I would just say things. A perfect example of this is always New Year’s resolutions, right?

I’m going to lose 30 pounds this year, and wake up every day at 5 am to read three books each month.

And I have this giant list of goals that all sound good, and I have every intention of keeping, but by week three, I’ve given up on most if not all of them.

Why? Because I didn’t take my own word seriously.

Now, my lists are much smaller because I do not over commit myself to things that I am not all in on. If I am not 100% all in on them, I know that I am not going to follow through, and that is going to take a hit against my trust with myself.

And it is better to have a smaller list of goals that you can trust yourself to follow through on. 

The bottom line of any relationship- marriage, family, business, and your personal relationship is trust.

So value your word and be intentional in what you say because building trust in yourself will lead to having an impeccable relationship with yourself. 

Which is the ultimate way to have self-confidence!

Be Consistent

The third practical step to building an impeccable relationship with yourself is being consistent in what you do once you have learned to take your word seriously.

See how each step simply builds on one another? Each level strengthening and affirming your self-confidence!

Once you have built trust with yourself and learned to value your word enough to be intentional, the third practical aspect of building self-confidence is then being consistent in it all.

If you stay consistent in something long enough, you are going to trust yourself to be better at it. Here’s a simple example.

When I was in highschool, I played a lot of basketball, and free throws were something I practiced constantly.

I must have shot thousands of free throws over the course of my highschool years. This in turn helped me improve in my ability to make a higher percentage of the shots I took.

So when I went to theme parks or fairs and paid a ridiculous amount of money to shoot a ball to win a giant stuffed animal for my girlfriend, I was confident that I could make the shot. 

I wasn’t just some guy looking at the hoop hoping to win the prize. I was somebody that had practiced that exact shot hundreds or even thousands of times before.

My confidence was there. Why? Because my consistency was there.

Travis Chappell

Now, I want to emphasize something here- consistency does not automatically mean confidence right off the bat. It builds the confidence, because when you start out in any new venture that you are completely green to, confidence in your ability will take time to build.

But that is also why consistency is so important. The more consistent, the quicker the confidence will find you!

When I left door-to-door sales and started podcasting, I had absolutely no experience with being on a microphone or hosting a show. 

The only thing that allowed me to get better at it was the consistency that I put in. I did not miss a single day of releasing content. I continued to put out content on the schedule I had determined to follow even if now you go back and listen, I was terrible!

But this consistency allowed me to be able to build confidence in my ability to hit the record button and just start talking. Or to bring on some of my favorite guests and have engaging conversations without skipping a beat. 

I am now confident in my ability to interview now because of the consistency that has brought me to this point.

Conclusion

So if you are looking for the number one way to find self-confidence in you and what you want to do in life and business, build an impeccable reputation of yourself in your own mind by doing what you say you are going to do, taking your word more seriously, and being consistent.

Over time, trust and confidence will grow exponentially, and you will see a true difference in how you approach every part of your life!

This is what I think is the most crucial part of gaining self-confidence, but the best part about my show is I get to have amazing conversations with others to hear their take on these topics.

I have a great mashup interview with Chris Harder, Aubrey Marcus, and David Meltzer. So if you’d like to hear more great tips on building confidence, listen here.

Tell me in the comments below what part of building an impeccable relationship with yourself resonated with you the most! I want to hear how we are all building self-confidence!

Share with someone who needs to hear this today, and as always, leave every relationship better than you found it! See you next week!