Rejection- everyone faces it. In some capacity, we all will experience rejection in all its glory.
But if it’s something we all face, and there are some who still find success and progress, that means it can be overcome.
So I wanted to really break down this topic of overcoming rejection. Get into the nitty gritty of it, if you will.
And hear from some experts in overcoming rejection!
Because if you have “climbed the success ladder”, the simple fact is you have faced rejection and beat it.
These thoughts stem from conversations I’ve had on my show, Build Your Network, and you can listen to the MashUp Episode on this topic here.
So let’s dive into rejection head on, and find some thoughts and principles we can implement in our lives to overcome it!
Realize You Have not Lost Anything Yet
What does this mean?
Let me explain.
I interviewed Brad Lea, the CEO and founder of Lightspeed VT, a while back. When I asked him to speak to the concept of overcoming rejection, this was the biggest piece of advice he gave.
“When you get rejected, you’re not losing anything!”
The fear of rejection actually stems from a fear of loss. People fear losing.
Our minds play a trick on us and make us feel that when someone has rejected our proposal or our request, that we have lost something valuable.
This then turns into a fear that prevents us from making new requests for fear of losing more!
But here’s the reality. When you are making your request, you already do not have the element, the appointment, the interview, etc. that you are asking for.
So if you do not already have it, you cannot fear losing it.
Brad put it this way, “So the worst case scenario is I leave with what I had to begin in with, and I already don’t have anything. So I fully understand that. So when I go up to you, it’s all upside.”
This realization helps you not only change your mindset from fear but it changes it to optimism!
You look at every proposal, request, ask as an opportunity.
Is the ‘No’ still not fun to hear? Of course!
But the overall sting will start to subside, because you know you have not lost anything. You can move onto another, or wait until your request is even better and reach out again!
Rejection is inevitable, but if we allow it to negatively affect our mindset, it will crush us.
“Persistence wears down resistance”
Cole Hatter is the creator and leader of THRIVE: Make Money Matter, and when I sat down and spoke with him about rejection, he gave a few solid points to consider.
First, he also agreed with Brad in the fact that when you hear no, you are no worse off than you were before you asked.
Do not focus on the “no”. And do not be afraid of no.
Sure, that is easier said than done, but think about it like this. If you allow the fear of rejection to keep you from asking, you are already in the worst case scenario of nothing happening or changing.
So might as well ask!
And Cole firmly believes that persistence will wear down resistance.
There is a time and place to bow out gracefully, but just because you received a “no” the first time, does not mean it is permanent.
The “no” could simply be a “not right now”.
He gave an example of calling an airline three times to talk to different people about waiving a fee he didn’t feel he should pay to change his flight.
The first two people said no. But the third said that as a courtesy they would be able to waive the fee.
It won’t always work, but the idea here is follow up and patience can make all the difference.
The first time I reached out to Grant Cardone to be on my show, I didn’t hear anything back at all.
Radio silence.
But instead of taking it personal, I knew that he was busy, and his time was valuable. If I wanted him to see my request and consider coming on my show, I needed to add more value to my request.
So I waited a few months until I had added several other big name guests to the line up and built up my show’s credibility.
When I reached out this time, I not only got a response, but I got a “YES!”
So I took the rejection and overcame it with persistence.
Take Comfort in Positivity
When it comes to overcoming rejection, the biggest tool you have is your mindset.
That’s really what it boils down to.
In my years of door-to-door sales, this was what kept me going. If someone slammed a door in my face, I could only move to the next door because of my mindset.
- Do not waste your energy on something negative.
If the rejection comes with a negative or hurtful response, you have to make the choice not to take it personally.
We can always learn from rejection, but at the end of the day, you know who you are and what you have to offer.
If someone doesn’t want that, there will be someone else!
- The first rejection is the hardest. If you keep getting back out there, you will become more comfortable and more confident, and this in turn can help improve your responses!
While rejection is not easy, it does get easier.
When I had someone give me a rejection at their door, I would have some fun with them before they closed the door, and then move on.
The next door held a new opportunity for a positive response! And that is what helped it get easier and easier over time.
Becoming comfortable with rejection is a huge asset to you in your business endeavors because it will set you apart from others.
That power and resilience will show in your person, your business, and in your request.
- Don’t allow your emotions to affect what you know to be true.
Reality is- it’s all a numbers game. You will win some and lose some. There will be acceptances and rejections.
Hold to this knowledge when the emotion of the rejection starts to creep in. Conquer the fear and you can overcome!
Conclusion
We are all a work in progress.
This will not be a one-time thing. But that is the beauty of being human and being in business.
We are given opportunities to grow and improve constantly.
So what part of your mindset about rejection needs to grow today? Let me know in the comments below.
If you were able to overcome rejection and see a positive outcome the next time you asked, let me know about it as well!
I love celebrating others’ victories.
See you next week!
